Sometimes, a country has a reputation for being polite and welcome. Sometimes exactly the opposite. Unfortunately for Germany, the country falls firmly into the latter category. Guidebooks and relocation manuals frequently warn of the “cold” and “unwelcoming” nature of the people. However, while living abroad can be an infuriatingly and depressingly lonely experience (unless you spend your whole time associating with other foreigners and do not integrate), there is something to be said in Germany’s defence. Humble opinion: If you want it easy – stay at home. If you want to speak your language all the time – stay at home. However, a happy blend of the two seems to be the key to living well abroad. And, of course, sharing observations on German life (such as the whacky English fails we sadly find all over the place) with other bemused immigrants over a beer is truly entertaining.
Your typical ex-pat friend. Image via Photobucket.
So here, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, is a guide to various strategies of meeting people:
Be a student. Students have it easy anyway. They want to meet people and their fellow students have the free time to spend doing just that, they can go to all sorts of parties during the week (without the (dis)advantage of being truly hungover the next day) and their language skills are generally very good. Plus they are young and often good looking, and surely what’s the point of going abroad if you aren’t going to drunkenly hook up with locals.
Be a free teacher. People want to learn your language. Unless you come from a small country, when finding them may be difficult, you can easily find friends if you are willing to speak your own language with them. Ideally, set up a tandem so you speak your language some of the time, and theirs the rest. That way, you both learn. The risk of this is that you may fall into a habit and never learn German, or end up being “used” just for language practice. In the end it may boil down to either sitting at home alone with your German grammar guide, or just going to that Irish pub quiz and having a good time. Fun is a victimless crime, like punching people in the back of the head at raves.
Be outgoing. Once you get to know them, Germans are generally a fantastic bunch (this blog is not responsible if your computer explodes when processing this positive comment). Mainly the women, since around 85% of German men are total fucktards (ahh, back to normal), but still. If you are willing to make the first step and break the ice, a German friend can be a truly loyal and fantastic thing to have and really a wonderful way to learn about the culture and language, which are the major benefits (after hooking up with hot foreigners) of living abroad.
For English speakers, there are various communities such as ToyTown Germany which are excellent for meet-ups as a way to get in touch with the ex-pat community, if that’s your thing. Outside of big cities in the west you may struggle, but there are far more foreigners infiltrating every -bach, -hausen and -berg across the land than most people realise.
from the outside looking in 